my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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