Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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