Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
