Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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