i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You did what with his pubic hair?
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