Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
