There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
