Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
