i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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