my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
