Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
