I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
