That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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