She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
