So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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