if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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