Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
