her vagine was all disorganized.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
