Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
