We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
