if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
