yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This house was built for laser tag.
We are two peas in an std pod
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
