I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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