Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
