So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
