In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
