It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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