She said her name was "party"
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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