Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
