Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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