I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
