Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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