yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
