Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So many bounce houses so little time
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
