The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
