There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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