Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Randomize
