but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
