lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
