you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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