I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
