Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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