cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
bring money and cleavage
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
