Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Found the puke drawer
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
