I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize