So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
