so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
