Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He passed out mid-signature
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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