Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
