Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
