I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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