Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize