bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So vagazzling was a success
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
