I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You took a bar mat shot.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
