I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize