He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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